Let’s be brutally honest – most exit interviews are just… polite lies wrapped in HR formalities.
You know the drill : Someone resigns. HR sets up a “quick exit discussion.” The manager sends a LinkedIn message wishing them luck.
And then we sit across from them and ask:
“What made you decide to leave?”
“Any feedback for us?”
“Would you consider rejoining in the future?”
And guess what we usually hear?
“Oh no, nothing wrong here. Just a better opportunity.”
“Everything’s been great. Just looking for growth.”
“You guys have been amazing!”
Sounds good, right?
Except it’s often not the truth.
We Keep Getting “Nice” Answers. But Are They Useful?
Here’s the thing. Most people don’t want to burn bridges.
They’ve already served their notice.
They’ve mentally checked out.
They don’t want to get into drama.
So they default to safe, vague responses – things like:
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
“Just wanted to try something new.”
“Better pay, that’s all.”
And we, as HR folks or leaders, nod along. File the report. Move on.
But let’s pause for a second.
If everyone’s leaving for “growth” – Then why didn’t they grow here?
If it’s always “better pay” – Why didn’t we have systems to reward them earlier?
If everything was “amazing” – Why did they scroll job boards in the first place?
The Real Question: Do They Feel Safe Enough to Tell the Truth?
Exit interviews aren’t broken because people lie.
They’re broken because most companies don’t create psychological safety to tell the truth – even on the last day.
We act like people will be brutally honest just because they’re leaving. But that’s not how humans work.
They’ve seen how feedback is handled internally.
They’ve watched peers get labeled “not a team player” for raising concerns.
They know HR isn’t always neutral – especially in Indian companies where founders still call the shots.
So why would they risk being too honest on the way out?
A Few Harsh Truths Employees Won’t Say Out Loud :
If you’ve worked in HR long enough, you’ve heard the whispers – the Slack DMs, the “off-the-record” lunch conversations.
Here’s what they won’t say in your official exit form:
“My manager was never around and gave zero feedback.”
“There was so much politics, I gave up trying.”
“My ideas were ignored while someone else got credit.”
“No one ever talked to me about growth. I figured I had to leave to get promoted.”
“The founder’s micromanaging made me anxious every day.”
“Your ‘open culture’ is just a fancy phrase on the wall. It’s not real.”
And that’s the stuff you actually need to know.
So… Are Exit Interviews Even Worth It?
Yes. But only if you do them right.
Otherwise, you’re just collecting polite fiction.
Here’s how to make them actually matter.
1. Don’t Make Their Manager Conduct It
Obvious? You’d think so.
But still, in many startups and family-led firms, the founder or direct manager wants to do a “farewell conversation.”
That’s not an exit interview. That’s a PR moment.
People won’t open up to someone who played a role in their frustration. Even if they smile and say “You can be honest with me.”
Just… don’t.
2. Use a Neutral HR or External Facilitator
If your HR team is seen as a management mouthpiece (and let’s be real – in many Indian companies, it is), consider using a third-party exit interviewer.
Someone who:
Is not involved in performance reviews
Can assure confidentiality
Is trained to ask questions that go beyond the surface
This one step changes the quality of feedback drastically.
3. Ask Better Questions
Ditch the script. Try these instead:
“What frustrated you the most – even if you never said it out loud?”
“What made you start looking?”
“When did you feel most unseen or unsupported here?”
“What advice would you give to your manager – if they were willing to hear it?”
“If you could redesign your role, what would you have changed?”
Notice the difference?
These questions open doors to stories, not sound bites.
4. Assure – and Prove – Confidentiality
Don’t just say feedback is confidential. Show it.
Don’t forward exit notes with names.
Don’t confront teams with “XYZ said this about you.”
Don’t use it to settle scores or justify past decisions.
If even one exit interview leads to office drama, word spreads. People stop talking.
5. Actually Act on the Patterns You See
Here’s where most companies fail.
You collect feedback. You log it. You even do a fancy PowerPoint on attrition.
And then… nothing.
If three people say the same thing about toxic culture or lack of growth, that’s not a coincidence – it’s a pattern.
And if you don’t act, your best talent will keep quietly walking out.
Exit Interviews Are a Mirror — But Only If You Look
Done right, exit interviews are one of the most powerful tools in HR.
They show you where your culture’s breaking.
Where your managers need help. Where people don’t feel seen – even when you think they do.
But that only happens when people feel safe enough to drop the script and tell you what really went down.
So next time someone resigns, ask yourself :
Are you giving them a space to speak… or just offering them a polite mic to say thank you and goodbye?
